S-I-C-K

I look down at my phone and all I see is your face.. but not because your calling, you only do that when you think I'm upset.. well guess what.. yes I am upset, why do I have to push so much harder to get anything out of you when all I do is squeeze my emotions out pouring what I have left onto you because I want you to absolutely know what love is and feels like I don't want you to feel the way he made you but now I wonder if I'm just some object of approval that you truly are that amazing person I met so many years ago... I hate sleeping when I can't hear your voice when I can' see your face I'm so sick now when I've had a clean bill of health my stomach bubbles and I feel my mouth water.. my salivary glands swell as a sudden moisture erupts I can't stand to not have your warmth I have pictures to get me day to day but without you here... what do I have I'll do whatever it takes to have your hand in mine I love you but when you say it.. I just don't know... all these signs I thought were just in my head, you don't call me those names just Stephen.. you never say I love you first or even call or txt.. and now I don't know what to think