Monday, March 29, 2010
I dont know any other way to express it than this.. i am frustrated, angry, irate, livid.. what do i have? what can i show for in this twenty-one years? lost my house, my job, car in the shop, not in school. so what do i have? i have my life, no criminal record, never in my life have i dishonored my family, i have love, hope, a backbone to never back down, pride that wont allow me to accept failure. I made it to twenty-one, ive traveled outside the country, multiple states, yes i am a black (african-american) male but i am in no way a stereotype equipped with more potential more imagination, more talent than a self-made millionaire and more creativity than half of these multi-platinum artists. with all that you ask why am i in this rut even with this economy i should be making money easily utilizing what was given to me God-send and heaven bound im not cocky or over confident knowing what i am capable and meant for is something ive had time to imagine and make steps toward fulfilling.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Why would i do this to myself unwilling putting myself in a loveless positioning where my heart can only be poisoned by false hopes, false truths this is not where i am to be, dying slowly lost at sea the tears have rolled down and filled this abyss where my heart could not this is the end my love, the end of us, the end of me. i pushed but never could i be what you wanted only what you needed speechless my love has exclaimed to you that id be any and everything you wanted but the contradiction not what you needed.
Fear.. Was and always will be the destroyer, I didnt choose this, my existance wasnt meant for this, i dont belong here.. My hearts heavy now sinking below towards stomach to mix with bile slowly to be vomited with the rest. emotions run deep to root me where I stand stuck in a battle my heart is with fire, how beautiful your flame as i am drawn to its glimmering embers. If i touch then i will be burned though i am still drawn, still wanting to reach out. I think i love you..