Wonder Why?

You wonder why i don't express my so called feelings.. but emotions are worth more than just something to sprinkle around like a seed to be planted or why i run away from a so called "good thing"? My life.. a difficult one caught a little between heaven and hell since birth with a piece of both embedded within. you tell me "baby trust" and "I'm not like other girls" but what if i listed the names of those who made the same claims to in the end get me where they want for a month of sundays if not a bit longer but when that sun sets.. and i look at the horizon then back to you.. i see bags and your back with no explanation but all fingers pointed at me. see society shows the male being the one to sit back. scavenge and prey on young woman but there are those of us just waiting for the right woman to search for them.. for me.. what about the other predators in life's field? those hurt young woman whose hearts have been grasped and crushed by those who only want relations the ones who somehow are all that this world sees and glorifies to be what young men should aspire to become.. but why?! i have lost a lot and made my peace and apologized for each time i slipped i am only human and i make mistakes but should my clout and integrity be judged for those slippery paths? so if you know me and wonder why my hearts still broken and my heads hung so low think back at a time.. where i used to be and dont just wonder try and open yours arms wra your arms tights because im still hurt..