Monday, August 25, 2008

Just a Male...

You may see me as just a male.. The reminisce of a soulless shell whom none can fill.. I’m not hollowed out and I feel pain I don’t fake tough I expose my faults, mistakes, flaws and all and for me to sit here and say that everything is alright would be the largest of lies. So to you I won’t hold this back I sense there is more than just a subtle disturbance in the force and the problem in my life has begun with you. By now you think I may be contradicting myself by appearing to come off a bit more heartless than I suggest. You are my problem but not one in which I do not accept my problem is that I love and my words counteract my actions for when I write it I show it resulting in.. You guessed it.. Me doing it. But that’s where the real hurt begins for me I can smother you with the glorious words from which my vocabulary can muster to celebrate my love for you but do you deserve that from me? I throw my love at you like a angry child throwing a temper tantrum but why? Because you don’t love me.. You may love the way I talk to you and the things I can do but the problem is.. You don’t love me. You say what you want to defend your emotions but the feelings you’ve shaved off me like years wasted away withered to the floor like the skin peeled off a potato and you still expect me to try at this.. I understand that your hurt and that love you once had has be spread to thin across the hearts of the undeserving.. They hurt you not I but who is the one to feel the wrath of the loveless woman? I am.. I admit I’ve lost love and loved lost causes but I love you with the fragmented blur of what I once called my heart but one thing I do not do is bring baggage. It’s unfair. It’s not fair. Life’s not fair.. why can’t you love me? Because I’m not capable of loving either. I now know that.

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