Mistakes

How many mistakes must one make before the lesson is learned? I’ve asked myself this very question since I could first decipher a logical thought. Life itself is a teacher and we the students are forever trapped behind the four walls of its... In a sense.. School. So if the lesson plan is everlasting when do we graduate to higher education? Never, and with that known how long will you sit complaining about the mistakes you’ve made knowing that only another lesson is to come. For those who are lost by now, this means that a mistake is a tool to teach. We make them throughout our lives to brace us for the next. And with each lesson there are consequences both positive and negative. With every action there is a reaction, you know the whole cause and effect clause we’ve all learned Newton’s law. The only way to avoid making the same mistake is to learn from it the first time. This may seem like a easy rule to follow.. Well unless of course you’re psychotic. Which in that case you would have an excuse. But for all others it may take you two or three times. But for me I’m a little in the middle I’ve learned plenty of lessons but like to test shark infested waters with a cut on the very tip of my toe.. You know to get the senses going.  I know better and I was brought up with the mind set that if I wanted it I would have it. But for some reason there was always one thing that I couldn’t quite grasp. It was this thing.. Cherished by so many but to me I just didn’t get it. I saw what I thought was it but then it would change to something a bit more sinister. I lost sleep over it and quite frankly I still do lose a wink or three. It’s called a dream. I’ve had them yes but for ever dream there will be a nightmare and while with some this sleep cycle will offer the good with the bad. My mind didn’t get that memo when I was born so I have a mental overload of the bad and what a fright it is. Each dream I’ve had I could be someone else, somewhere else not this life of mine (not that I can complain much my life is better than many). But where my dreams would falter was where the mistakes come in. Example one.. In a dream you can be anything. Mistake one. In reality this just doesn’t work too well. Consequence one.. my nightmares became my reality once I forgot that all dreams are ones to accomplish and most are just a mental block from reality to escape the pains of life. So what is my lesson? To escape my nightmare by any means necessary. Secondary lesson is to learn how. This is the tricky part but bare with me. If you live but never really have your eyes open then what are you exactly? A sleepwalker I’ve been that the majority of my life passing through on the jet stream successes of others and the hand outs from the rest. So what I’ve recently learned was.. to just wake up. Tell my mind to be still for the dreams were getting overcrowded as I was constantly asleep just living but never letting these dreams out. The years of pent up bliss and happiness and somehow in 2008 they finally get to roam. I’ve learned to deal with what I am, who I am the nightmares are gone living a half life asleep at the wheel watching my mouth move but never being able to control what came out. That time is over twenty years have passed and my mistakes may out weigh my accomplishments but I make my stand to change that for my next forty, fifty, sixty years will be spent living for what life is. Where I can’t take back my mistake I can learn from them.. because that’s why we make them right?